


Addiction

by Thatoneloser_kid



Series: Ellie x Dina prompts [4]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, Talks about painkiller addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 22:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Tumblr prompt: Joel comforting Ellie after she reveals she's struggling with addiction to pills, she took them as pain relief whilst Joel was ill in winter then she wanted more over time and gave into it. After the whole David thing when Joel is better she decided to stay away from them but she ends up giving in one night. She breaks down and Joel helps her overcome it. Maybe based before the end or shortly after the end of the first game?





	Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! if you have any prompts send them to me at thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com

Ellie first took the painkillers after the big fight in the mall.

She was sitting beside Joel, needle in hand, her entire body aching, and she just couldn’t stop herself from shaking.

Then she remembered back at the fire-flies, when Marlene was about to fix Josh up, she took a few painkillers, so she popped a few of them and fixed Joel up.

There was something in the way the painkillers just rushed through Ellie’s blood, seemingly eliminating any and all pain in her muscles and bones.

She said it would be a one time thing, then she started to ache again, and she tried not to take any more, but she figured that taking them until she stopped hurting would be okay.

Then she went through the whole thing with David, and that didn’t just hurt her physically but fucked her up mentally.

So she took the pills, for the for the pain of David, she told herself.

But the pain faded, Joel got better, and winter bled into spring, but Ellie just couldn’t stop.

She knew there was something up, the way she felt like she had to hide any pills she found, that told her there was something wrong with what was happening.

Ellie spent her days high on whatever pills she could find and she knew Joel could see the difference in her, but he put it down to the trauma of David, of killer that amount of men, of going through everything she had been through.

Ellie was thankful for that.

They got to The Dam in late spring, and Ellie had a stash of pills that would last her a few weeks but she didn’t know what she would do after that.

She made her way through the pills, panic rising in her when she took the final two she had, but she figured it would be fine, she wasn’t _addicted_ or anything, she could stop if she wanted.

She realised pretty quickly that that was not the case.

Come day twelve hours without the pills Ellie couldn’t stop herself from shaking, all she could think about was the pills, she was having cold flushed, her head was aching. She _needed_ those pills.

On the second day she decided to use her friendship with Dina, the youngest worker in the clinic, to get pills.

She didn’t ask, there was no way Dina would have just given her some, so she visited Dina with lunch.

Dina looked confused, which was fair, Ellie had been nothing but closed off with her, not really accepting the friendship the girl was offering, but she smiled after a few seconds.

That was the first time of many that Ellie felt like scum.

Dina ushered her into the clinic, allowing her to sit down beside her as she organised the pills into groups of fifty before recording it in a book.

“You okay?” She asked after a little while, glancing down at Ellie’s hands as she pressed her thumb into her sweaty palm.

“Hm? Yes, yeah, I’m good. Totally fine.”

“If you say so,” Dina laughed, and Ellie just stared at the pills on the table, feeling like there was something crawling under her skin, making her scratch the back of her neck.

Dina got distracted about ten minutes into Ellie being there, going to show one of the older residents how to administer their insulin.

Ellie would have been impressed that the fourteen year old knew so much about medicine if she hadn’t been entirely focused on swiping a handful of around fifteen pills off the table.

“I’m telling you, I’ve told that man how to-“ Dina trailed off when she noticed Ellie get up. “You’re leaving?”

“Yes, yeah. Sorry, Joel didn’t want me away long.”

“Oh, okay,” Dina looked disappointed. “I’ll see you later?”

“Sure. Sure, yeah.”

That became a pretty constant thing, going to visit Dina and stealing from the one person in this complex bar Tommy that had given her a chance and was actually trying with her.

The stealing went on for six months, and Ellie knew she had a problem but she was willing to ignore it, she wasn’t really hurting anyone.

She couldn’t ignore it when she was so high that she almost got Dina and Joel killed.

They were on a patrol, it was simple, there shouldn’t have been any issues. Ellie should have noticed the men coming up on them, she was on watch after all, but she was so spaced that she didn’t see them until she took the butt of a gun to the cheek.

Thankfully, Joel and Dina could handle it, and managed to carry her back to the compound with minimal injury.

Ellie knew then that she had a problem, one she had to address.

It was two days after the attack, two days she had spent still taking pills, still hugely ashamed, that she went to Joel.

Joel looked like he had been expecting her to come and talk to him about something big, patting the sofa beside him.

“I- uh-“ Ellie was shaking, her thumb pressing into her palm.

“Babygirl,” Joel covered her small hands with his large, callused ones. “Whatever it is, it’s okay. We’ll work through it.”

“I- I’ve done some horrible things, Joel.” Ellie avoided Joel’s eyes. “I’ve- I stole from the clinic.”

Joel obviously wasn’t expecting that, a little frown appearing on his brow. “Stealing, why?”

Ellie didn’t answered, she just dug into her pocket and pulled out a handful of pills.

“Why-“ Joel trailed off, and Ellie could see the cogs turning in his head. “No,” he breathed. “You- you’re addicted.”

It wasn’t a question, but Ellie nodded shamefully, a lump forming in her throat. “I didn’t think I was, I thought I could stop, Joel. I thought I could but it just took hold, I- I couldn’t stop, Joel.”

Ellie was crying now, and she honestly expected Joel to get up, to distance himself from her, but instead he wrapped her up in his arms, allowing her to cry against his chest.

“I got you, babygirl. I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Ellie cried, and Joel simple rubbed her back, allowing her to get it out.

After ten minutes Ellie’s cries reduced to sniffs and hiccups.

“First you need to take the pills back to the clinic, babygirl. Give them to Dina.”

“I-I can’t.” Ellie sniffed, pulling back a little. “She will hate me.”

“She won’t,” Joel assured. “You have to do that, you have to go cold turkey on this.”

Ellie swallowed and nodded.

Dina smiled that same, big smile she always did, which made Ellie’s stomach churn in disgust.

Dina wasn’t mad, she wasn’t pissed, she didn’t even seem disappointed. She simply took the pills from Ellie, and pulling her in for a hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice,” she whispered and Ellie felt like she could just break down completely at that.

The first night without the pills was fine, she sat downstairs with Joel, both reading in silence.

At the beginning of the second day she was getting restless, her muscles were aching and her head was beginning to hurt.

Dina stop by at dinner time with homemade soup, and Ellie pulled on her best smile even if she was sweating and the base of her skull was aching.

She didn’t sleep the second night, and Joel didn’t either, he held her while she shook, sweating out the drugs.

She didn’t even remember Dina coming by the second time, and she certainly  wasn’t nice to Dina the third time she came by, telling her she didn’t need her food, she needed the pills. Telling her to piss off and to stop pushing a friendship that wasn’t working.

She was convinced she was going to die at about the sixty hour mark.

She was throwing up, her stomach cramping and her body was wracked by cold shivers and hot sweats.

She hit at Joel’s chest, she cried, telling him she needed her pills back, she didn’t want to stop, not if she was going to die.

But Joel took it on the chin (one time literally) holding Ellie tight.

When Dina came by on the seventy sixth hour, the worst of it was over.

She was still craving, but the shivering had stopped, she wasn’t nauseous or throwing up, and her fever was gone.

Her head still ached, she still couldn’t sleep or sit still for long, but she was on the good side of the peak.

“Hey,” Dina held up the cake she had in her hand. “It’s blueberry.”

Ellie smiled, she loved blueberries.

“You look better,” Dina commented, taking a seat on the sofa beside Ellie.

“I feel better,” Ellie admitted, rubbing her hands together. “I’m still craving, but it isn’t as bad as yesterday.”

“Have you eaten?”

Ellie ignored the question. “I’m sorry, Dina.”

“Don’t be, what you were going through was though.”

“I was horrible to you, I broke your trust.”

“You were sick, El,” Dina placed a hand on Ellie’s leg. “I’m not going to tell you it’s okay, because it isn’t, but I forgive you.”

Ellie nodded, pressing her thumb against her palm. “Thank you, for sticking with me.”

“Us girls gotta stick together, right?” Dina nudged Ellie’s shoulder playfully.

They hung out for the rest of the night, which was nice, having a break from Joel who had refused to leave her alone.

The cravings didn’t dissipate for another day, but she finally managed to fall asleep and when she woke up her headache was gone.

She still felt exhausted, her body was aching from the constant shaking, but she felt clear headed for the first time in god knows how long.

“How you feeling, kiddo?” Joel asked when she padded downstairs, finishing up the food he was making.

“So much better,” Ellie sat down at the table. “Dina forgave me.”

“I know,” Joel hummed, pouring Ellie some coffee. “She stopped by while you were asleep last night, we talked for a bit. She’s a good girl, that one, don’t fuck up that friendship.”

Ellie laughed softly, staring down at her mug. “Thank you, Joel.”

“We look out for each other, kiddo. I’m just sorry I didn’t notice, I just thought you were workin’ through everythin’ that happened.” Joel said, and before Ellie could speak he spoke up again. “You tell me next time somethin’ like this happens.”

“It won’t happen again,” Ellie swore. “I’m sorry that I caused you to get hurt before.”

“You did good gettin’ through this, kid, don’t beat yourself up too much.” Joel set Ellie’s good down on the table and gave her shoulder a little squeeze before kissing her head. “I have to go to work, Dina will be by at lunch.”


End file.
